My husband's stepsister is currently going through hell. This is her fourth pregnancy, or attempted pregnancy; she's due in May, but she's been on bedrest for over a month due to her three previous miscarriages. I can't even fathom what she and her husband are going through. She feels miserable all the time, and she's not even halfway there. The best-case-scenarios involve her carrying the baby at least to 6 or seven months, delivering prematurely and hoping for the best.
How can she want this so badly?
My lack of maternal instinct hits me especially hard during situations like this. I can't empathize at all. I just think "Why not adopt? Why go through all this hell?" In the meantime, I'm thinking of all the horrible things that would happen if I got pregnant by accident (note to self: call doctor and schedule appointment!) and here she is struggling, giving up her social life -- or life outside the home at all -- just so she might maybe have the chance that this might maybe work this time, when all the while the odds are stacked against her, even with all this sacrifice. I wish her the best because she wants this so badly, but its the "wanting it so badly" that I can't comprehend. It makes me consider if something really is very wrong with me. I know it's not healthy to think that way, that it's okay to not want children, but seeing such an extreme opposite to my feelings makes me wonder.
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