Wednesday, January 25, 2006


I'm deep in the midst of a search for a new job, and I'm getting paranoid. I find myself wondering how to deal with telling people that I'm married, or newly married. I've heard tales of discrimination against the hiring of newlywed women, and I can totally understand why. They stick around for awhile — but not too long — before getting pregnant, leaving to have the baby, then toss a coin to see whether they come back after their leave ends.

So there's that, but it's not like I can wave a flag around saying "wait, I'm not having kids, so you don't need to worry about that!" Sure, they're not allowed to discriminate, legally, but all of that happens behind the scenes. Uh-oh, she's recently married with no kids. Do we want to invest in her?

I've seen it happen a lot. Two women at my old job got married, had kids, and lead the company for months to believe they'd be coming back. They never did. And again here -- women get pregnant, stick around, say "sure, I'll be back in three months", then put their resignation in at the end of that time so they can keep their benefits or something. Hell, E did that at her last job, and it's M's plan should she get pregnant again. It isn't any wonder that this is seen as a trend.

I wish I could advertise it. But I also worry that for some reason an employer would discriminate against me because I don't want kids. "What's wrong with that girl?" I feel like I can't win.

The reality is probably that no one really cares, but I'm starting to look at my wedding ring and wonder if that's going to hinder my chances at getting a new job. Not that I'd take it off for interviews or anything — I'm incredibly proud to be married. It's just irrational, and I'm looking for excuses for why no one has called me back yet. Nevermind that none of the applications mentioned my marital status.

What a freak.

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