Tuesday, October 02, 2007

The Magic Number (Part II)

So back in January of 2006, I mentioned that my husband and I had come to the decision that when I turned 30, then we’d start looking into getting him snipped. Well, that day has come. I turned 30 last week, and I’m surer than ever of my childfree path. But we’re still not getting the vasectomy. Since the discovery of my PCOS, we figure that as long as I have my IUD it’s simply not worth bothering with it. Not worth the risk to him or the pain he’d go through when my chances of getting accidentally pregnant are ridiculously slight.

So far, the biggest part of 30 is that I’ve noticed that I’m 30. Things like retirement accounts, and general lifepath questions are coming up a great deal. I’m more concerned about the interest rate on our savings account and our plans to buy a home this year, more conscious of the fact that if we want to retire in 25 years, we’ve got to start saving hardcore as soon as my husband gets out of school. But I’m also conscious of how happy I am with my life, which is why I think 30 was no big deal for me.

I celebrated my birthday with my Chicago group of friends, 20-some people, ages ranging from their mid-20s to mid-30s, all childless, many childfree, gathered together for a night of music, drinks and fun. We spend two nights a week, sometimes three, surrounded by friends. We can go dancing on Thursday nights and get home at 2am only to go to wake at 6:30 to go to work. We can spend weekends at concerts or having late nights with friends. We’re financially secure, we’re happy. It’s a damn good life.

I’m also much more secure in my choice to remain childfree; a lot more secure than I was when I started this blog. I’ve met more childfree women and couples, gained the acceptance of more friends, and inched toward opening dialogue with less supportive family. In that last year and a half, a number of new babies have entered my world, and to my relief have had no maternal effect on me. Even as some of my closest lifelong friends become mothers, as I attend showers and meet their new babies, I am now left feeling not dysfunctional, as I did before, but secure, able to love these kids without fear that they’ll spark an unwanted biological desire.

Of course, there are still people in my life who don’t get it. There always will be. But those people are either phasing themselves out of my life or learning to deal with the fact that it’s my decision.

Yes indeed, life is good. I love my childfree life, my childfree marriage, my childfree and childfree-friendly friends… Life is good.


M said...

Wow, this does seem to be a big change. I remember reading several posts in that past that depicted quite a bit of struggle. How awesome for you to have made this much progress and be so content. Good for you!!

Adri said...

i've been feeling the same way lately. i used to feel threatened by women having babies, but now...it's kind of like a friend getting a job in a field i have no interest in. i'm happy for them, but i love my job and wouldn't trade it for someone else's.

Tanya said...

Happy Belated Birthday!!!
I'm glad you have a good life and are truly happy with what you have!

Krystyna said...

Hello! I just came across your blog (which I enjoyed very much), and I felt I just had to comment regarding the vasectomy issue. We both knew before we even became engaged that we did not want children. We have been married for 3 years now. I am 28; my husband is 33, and he just got his done about 3 weeks ago. At least in his case, it was a very simple procedure, and an overall easy experience. He didn't even feel sore until a few hours later, and really only lasted a few days. His stiches are totally disolved now, and you can't even tell that anything was done.

So, that's just my 2 cents! But overall, you have to do what's best for your situation!