I created this blog in July of 2005 as a safe haven to share my words with anyone who will listen. After finding so many anti-child/anti-breeder websites out there championing the childfree lifestyle, I decided to create one that's neither. I adore the children in my life. I also adore giving them back. I think many of the parents in my life, especially my close friends, have absolutely made the right decisions for their families. And yet, if I speak out in my regular journal, I'm constantly misunderstood, misinterpreted and I end up hurting feelings. This is my safe haven. I'll share the stories that reinforce my decision to remain childfree, and my own thoughts as I deal with "coming out" to family and defending myself to friends.

Over the years I've heard from an unreal number of people who were pleased to find someone who felt the way they did. It's time people realize that the childfree community isn't a hate group. We're normal, good people who simply have decided that our lives are happy and complete without children. It's a choice that comes with a surprising number of challenges and evokes a great deal of passion from both sides of the aisle. I feel it's important that we band together and support each other as we come out to family, coworkers, friends and strangers, and live in a world where we're the minority.

Please comment if you are so moved, and welcome.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

The Magic of Babies

This is not actually a cynical post. I just laid eyes on a photo of my dearest friend's freshly baked daughter and I'm sort of overwhelmed by the magic of it all. I'm always reminded of the Onion article, "Miracle of Birth Occurs for 83 Billionth Time", but with this couple, this baby, it feels a little more special.

Maybe it's because her mother didn't treat me like a freak when I was interested in hearing about her experience being pregnant with her first child. Perhaps it's because nothing changed when she got pregnant and even though things will necessarily change in some ways now that the little one is here and healthy and beautiful I know she values my friendship and respects my choices. Whatever the case, I already adore this baby. I watched her mom struggle to get pregnant, saw her joy when she finally did and waited on pins and needles for 9 months praying she was healthy, and I feel connected to her.

I just can't get over that this little piece of both of them was in my friend's belly when we were at their house over the holiday weekend fully cooked and ready to be born. For the first time I really feel like I'm allowed to find this exceptionally cool without anybody getting all up in my face about my own choices. I just want to love this little girl and now I can.

She may not be a miracle in the strictest sense, but this baby girl is really special and I feel blessed to have her and her family in my life. They're the family I choose, and I'm so unbelievably happy for them.
Posted by at 3:05 PM

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