Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Borrowing a Teenager

In the midst of my employment uncertainty, my husband and I are looking to buy a home. The market just outside Chicago proper, where we live, has taken a nosedive and we want to get in while the prices are low. The affordability of these homes is still a little questionable while my husband is a full-time student, so we've considered taking a roommate. The roommate would probably be one of two friends of ours, both extremely similar. Both are in their late 20s but look much younger, are a bit stunted socially and have obsessions with anime (one far worse than the other).

My husband and I talked about what it would mean if we rented out one of the bedrooms (there are three and a half bedrooms in the place -- the half room, the "nursery", is poised to be a workout room if we get this house. We listed the potential issues. Friends would come over that we may or may not like, we'd have to share the kitchen, the rec room, etc. We think we'd be okay with that, but there's the reality of this: If she was paying rent, she would no longer be a "guest" in our home. It would be her home too. And that implies a level of control over the place that's potentially unsettling.

And then we realized that having one of these friends move in with us would basically be like having a teenager, albeit one that brought money INTO the home instead of siphoning it out. But the money isn't the big deal here. It's the omnipresence.

We've had friends live with us for up to a month at a time (Christi, one of these girls stayed with us for nearly a month early last year). It was mostly fine, but we never felt like ourselves. We're very cute, very cuddly in the kinds of ways you don't share with friends. And sex? Hello awkward!! We just could not get comfortable to the point where we could be intimate, sexually or otherwise, with another person there.

It would seriously be like having a teenager.
Except for when Christi got a boyfriend and brought him home. When she lived with us and brought her MUCH younger boyfriend home (which seems to be the trend among the anime girls we know), he treated us like we were her parents. It was the weirdest thing ever. Then I think wow, her friends are almost ALL in their very early 20s, if that. We are ANCIENT to them, and I'm not sure I can tolerate their immaturity in my home.

And then it stops seeming like it would be worth it, even if it would make or break the deal of us getting this particular home, which is pretty much our dreamhouse.

I look at this in contrast with some other other stuff I'm feeling lately and it messes with my head.

1 comment:

Emily said...

Just a voice to say "listen to your gut"! Having this friend move in essentially permanently (if that is what is required for you guys to buy the house right now) could result in on some level you feeling like a guest in your own home. Doesn't sound like a good dynamic to me... A dream home really isn't as valuable as maintaining a dream marriage!