I take terrible care of my animals.
There, I said it.
Oh, it's not that bad. They're not ill, unclean, or unhappy. Maybe I don't clean the cat's box as often as I should. Maybe I procrastinate on cleaning the fishtank because, well, he's a betta and bettas don't care anyway. Maybe I forget to change the cat's water or decide that it's clean "enough", or I neglect to cut the cat's claws because it's a pain in the ass. I'm a lazy mom, it's true.
I also shove the cat off me when it's inconvenient, get so annoyed I lock the cat out of the room and let him whine.
Where on EARTH do people get the idea that I'd be a great mom? Maybe it comes from being a highly sensitive person (HSP), but I get SO irritated at little things. The cat meowing incessantly when he wants something HIS WAY, or finding the time to clean the catbox and gods forbid the fishtank. My nephews irritate me to the point that I'm not sure I like them much at all, and even my beloved niece grates on my nerves after not much time.
I've probably talked about this before, but it was on my mind today as I contemplated the neglected postcard from the vet's office that says the cat was due for his checkup like 3 months ago. Even if my body got to the point where it wanted to convince my brain to have a baby, I know that it is not something that I would be suited to, and that's ok.
I would be a miserable mother. Not just neglecting the child so I could watch my tv shows, play on the computer, snuggle alone with my husband or even cook a healthy meal or work out. I would simply be miserable, the mother that begs silently for her life back day after day.