Thursday, April 24, 2014

Oh Bother

4. Also you are so happy with your decision..then why are you giving justifications to the one is bothered!

These are the comments that make me laugh. People who ask this, who presume I'm writing justifications, who think that writing about my experiences means I'm overcompensating are missing one key point:

I'm not writing this for you.

I'm writing this for myself, and for the many women who write to me thanking me for being a voice of experience when they're just starting their own journey. My audience isn't the women who don't get it. If they stumble across my blog and leave with a greater understanding of childfree women and the childfree choice, bonus. But I don't expect that to happen. 

The irony of these statements isn't lost on me, either. When someone says things like this, they sound quite bothered, actually. These people took the time to find my childfree blog, read my posts and found them so compelling for one reason or another to write a nastygram in response.

That, my dear, is the definition of bothered. 

But again, these women are not my audience, and what I write is not a bunch of justifications. They're thoughts, stories, experiences. And as long as people reach out and tell me that I've made a difference for them (and they do!) I'm going to keep sharing.


Tanya said...

I am one of the people who take such comfort from your blog. I'm glad you wrote this response.

Finding your blog about a year ago allowed me to actually accept the decision to not have children with my partner. We have different reasons for choosing not to have children, but the experiences, interactions and feelings you describe are spot on and help me feel comforted I'm not alone.

Thank you again for everything about this blog, including your responses to people's strange comments.

Anonymous said...

pretty nice blog, following :)