Another one down. My friend is in her late 30s, a few years older than me, and I'm ecstatic that she was able to get pregnant when she was so afraid she couldn't.
But it's another one down, the second of three who were trying to announce her pregnancy. The third has gone silent about babies in her social media, which is leading me to believe she may be close to an announcement herself.
The point is, I'm feeling awfully alone. Friends don't understand when I explain how I feel and start pushing me to consider having kids, which is missing the entire point. I wish I had a friend who just got it, one who understands what it's like to be dealing with this mixed bag of emotions. I'm 34. My time's running out to change my mind and it's not changing and there are consequences to that.
But the only place I can talk about the consequences, the mixed emotions, is this private blog. I've swapped several posts to "private" on my public blog after friends took horrible offense to everything I said. I tried reaching out again, to see if it would be different this time. It hasn't been.
I have a couple remaining childless/childfree friends, neither of whom are very good sounding boards for such emotional stuff. I can't talk to my mom, even though I want to. It's starting to get really lonely out here.